We're All Cracked Plates

Well my first reaction to this piece came when I got the second paragraph. Fitzgerald, in the middle of the paragraph writes "It seemed a romantic business to be a successful literary man-" and ends the section with "but I, for one, would not have chosen any other [trade]." His sentiment between these lines strikes me as, ah! someone who gets me! I, for one have chosen the life of writing and am coming to the realization that yes, I won't have any fame. If any is to be bestowed upon me it will be once I'm dead probably not coming even then for centuries after the fact. I hate politics and though I have strong religious convictions, I am consistently unsatisfied with my writing and with the conclusions that I've come with. But isn't that what writing is supposed to be? A forever changing, forever unsatisfactory work between an author, or many.

The rest of his piece reminded me of someone who was longing for a connection to something important; someone who wanted to make something of his life but was having trouble doing so. And so to remedy that they escape their surroundings and the life that they know, they change drastically. Fitzgerald even shows that in the end when he throws out all his letters, changes his smile, and even his voice. He believes that he has found himself through the idea of what a writer is supposed to look and sound like.

If that is what a writer is supposed to look and sound like, I don't want to be a writer. He makes writers seem very selfish and quite pretentious. It might also have to do with the time period that he is living in but I doubt it. The idea that he brings across just bothers me. To me writing is a craft that involves many people and many different ideas. A writer can't separate himself from others because he will need them eventually.

But then Fitzgerald was also dealing with the idea of losing who he was. He had the image of him hugging a pillow for an hour. This is a break down. He needed a complete change, a revitalization of sorts. That in essence scares me. If this is his mid-life crisis for he mentions that he's around 40yrs old, does that mean that most people second guess themselves, and that's why they do drastic things like buy expensive cars. Now I get that this is a leap but still, the idea bothers me.